Essential for Marriage

Just after we were engaged, I began to search for books on marriage. And although we read many, I can honestly say that the one I now recommend to all couples above any other is one S gave me a few weeks ago. It’s called, “When Sinners Say ‘I Do’: Discovering the Power of the Gospel for Marriage” by Dave Harvey. It is the most candid, thorough, deliberate, and gospel-centered book I’ve ever read on this topic.

Some marriage books give neat little suggestions, address how to deal with conflict, talk about sex, and give little bits of information to the husband and wife. But, this is the first book I’ve read that puts the Gospel at the center of two sinners in marriage. Because, let’s face it: that’s who we are.

Prior to marriage, tucked away in the privacy of my own bedroom, it all seemed quite doable. When I had that time to myself and quiet, I had all the patience and love in the world! So what happens to all that love, grace, and patience? The truth of the matter is that our marriage shouldn’t just be based on how much love we think we have, our commitment to each other, or even the vows we have made. Because even those can be broken. Marriage needs to be focused on the truth of God’s Word which never fails and never changes.

God designed marriage for His glory, and I’m thankful that in that plan He also made it for our good. And, it is good! I love being married to S! Every night before I fall off to sleep, I stare at him sleeping and thank the Lord for the gift I have in Him. I know that God joined us together for His glory, and it’s amazing to me that He has used our own sinfulness to draw us closer to Himself and each other. Things that could have destroyed us, things that could have driven a deep nail of bitterness have brought forth repentance, forgiveness, joy, and intimacy. God is so good and kind to us. We’ve come to rejoice that it is “His kindness that leads to repentance”, and His love that brings forgiveness. It is only through His Word, example, and grace that we can understand forgiveness and offer it to each other.

We’re not afraid of sin anymore because we realize that it is sin that leads us to the cross. It is there that we find grace and forgiveness. In Christ, we’ve been forgiven much! His kindness is immeasurable! I’m amazed at how differently I look at others when I view them through the eyes of mercy. Christ looked upon me in all my sin and chose to forgive me. Although I do it often, I don’t desire to be the man in Matthew who was forgiven much and then did not forgive. What an awful place to be! I want to see my sin, my debt, my need, and HIS grace when I look at S. I want to see Him through the love Christ has shown me.

Must go for now, but seriously, check out the book! It will touch all the areas that no one else touches, and those places we don’t often talk about. And, it will point you to the Gospel of grace, which we all need.

Her Big Day- The Two Year Mark

My heart has been bursting with excitement the last few days as we’ve been approaching A’s second birthday. I’m just abundantly blessed as I think back on all the memories we have these last two years. My life is all the fuller and richer because of our daughter!

This morning when we woke A from bed, we sang “Happy Birthday” to her. She said, “Sing again, Mama, Papa?” And, at breakfast as I was reminding her how much we have to be thankful for she said, “So thankful for dinner!” ;-)

This morning was A’s first day in the big-kid room at church! She was welcomed by such wonderful, caring individuals! She learned about Jesus being baptized by John, played with friends, and was invited to celebrate her birthday with a little cake! We’re so blessed by such thoughtfulness! When we asked A what she thought of her morning in the big class she said, “It was interesting!” and then we all laughed!

A’s friend Rosie gave her a pair of her own red tights. She put them in a brown paper bag with a purple piece of paper taped to the outside with her name on it. How dear is that?!

And, as if that weren’t enough to touch our hearts, our landlord and his girlfriend stopped by to see her today. They brought two books as gifts! They know how much she loves books and they wanted to encourage her love for reading. It was just amazing!

In a few hours, we’ll head over to have dinner with both sets of Grandparents and one set of Great- Grandparents. A keeps saying how she can’t wait to see her “friends” tonight. And… to have pizza, of course! HA.

I’m baking some cookies, nibbling on them as I go, and reflecting on the goodness of God in our dear, precious child. Thank you, God! You are so good to us! What a privilege it is to point this precious child to Yourself, what a joy to serve you in raising her. Thank you! We love you!

Big Changes in our Little One

Our little muffin is changing so much. It’s almost as if we have a new child! She’s growing in her curiosity, imagination, and VOCABULARY! For Christmas, we gave her a collection of Eric Carle’s longer stories. She walks around the house saying, “Eric Carle” and then “Read Pancakes” because she loves his story about pancakes. She also goes in to her kitchen to make us pancakes and pizza. We had some friends over for pizza the day after Christmas, and ever since, she can’t stop talking about pizza. We picked up a book at the library a couple days ago about Curious George at the pizza shop and now she requests to read it quite frequently.

The most interesting of all is that in a couple of her books the word “sad” is referenced. One was in a Curious George book when we he realized he lost the bunny and the other in her Eloise Wilkin book which says that God is with us when we are lonely, hurt, sorry, or sad. The other evening when A didn’t particularly enjoy the meal of choice, she looked at me and said, “Mama, I’m sad.”  Oh my! Now she says it when Papa leaves, when she is disappointed, or when she needs extra snuggles. Wow.

She also surprised us today by saying “I’m happy!” after we finished lunch. She then said, “Happy New Year, Ju-Ju!” (Judah is her favorite Lion friend.)

With all these new words also have come many new changes. She was scared and sad going to bed a few nights in a row, seemed to have some bad dreams, became very clingy during the daytime hours, and was rather frustrated at the challenges in communicating with us. Sometimes these words are not the easiest to understand! We are trying hard because we desire to know her heart and thoughts.

This is an exciting time! Words are connecting with her thoughts and emotions, and we are getting to know and understand her in fresh and exciting ways. We’re grateful and excited for this new season!

The Greatest Gift

A received a really great book from the childcare workers at church for Christmas. It's about all the neat gifts we might receive for Christmas, but how the greatest gift of all is Jesus, who came to take away all our sin. It's an excellent little book and we've been reading it each night before bed.

This led me to a similar story in one of my favorite books, The Valley of Vision. It is a collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions which I believe I referenced at one time previously. Here's a wonderful exerpt to share with you about the Greatest Gift of all, Jesus.

O Source of all good,
What shall I render to thee for the gift of gifts,
thine own dear Son, begotten, not created,
my redeemer, proxy, surety, substitute,
his self-emptying incomprehensible,
his infinitely of love beyond the heart's grasp.
Herein is the wonder of wonders:
he came below to raise me above,
was born like me that I might become like him.
Herein is love;
when I cannot rise to him he draws near on wings of grace,
to raise me to himself.
Herein is power;
when Deity and humanity were infinitely apart
he united them in indissoluble unity, the uncreate and the created.
Herein is wisdom;
when I was undone, with no will to return to him,
and no intellect to devise recovery,
he came, God-incarnate, to save me to the uttermost,
as man to die my death,
to shed satisfying blood on my behalf,
to work out a perfect righteousness for me.
O God, take me in spirit to the watchful shepherds, and
enlarge my mind;
let me hear good tidings of great joy,
and hearing, believe, rejoice, praise, adore,
my conscience bathed in an ocean of repose,
my eyes lifted up to a reconciled Father;
place me with ox, ass, camel, goat,
to look with them upon my redeemer's face,
and in him account myself delivered from sin;
let me with Simeon clasp with new-born child to my heart,
embrace him with undying faith,
exulting that he is mine and I am his.
In him though hast given me so much that heaven can give me no more.

Mindless Mentality

This past week while not feeling well, I was forced to rest in bed. My mentality was not at its sharpest, so it was nice to mindlessly watch some television. And while some of that was nice, I couldn’t afford to watch mindlessly.

Viewing a Christmas movie, totally dazed and comforted with blankets, snug as a bug, was enjoyable. However watching some other things was quite alarming. We don’t watch television very often. We usually turn it on for a few minutes in the morning for the news, and then if there is a good program on in the late evening we’ll give it a watch. So, to be exposed to all the daytime chat, the who’s who in Hollywood, and the latest televangelists was truly eye-opening.

I was really thankful for a great Pastor when I came across one show in particular. A pastor was attempting to answer the question, “Why does God not answer our prayers?” Great question and I’m sure he had many listeners. Who doesn’t at one time or another ask that question? He went on to answer it with “Because of sin.” He quoted a familiar verse and I agree that sin can be a hindrance to prayer. However, this man took a very different approach when we began reading a story about the Israelites, inferring that we are like them and God can not hear us because of our sin. He said that we need to be doing good things to continue to be in right relationship with Him so He can hear us. And, he went so far as to say that when we do that, just like He blessed the Israelites with crops and fertility, He will bless us. He said, “You know that house you want, or maybe that car or job… He’ll give that to you when you walk in obedience. That’s His blessing on you.” Really?

The thing that troubled me beyond the personal prosperity message and trying to encourage people to obey for selfish reasons is that we aren’t the Israelites. The Israelites were part of a conditional covenant. God’s relationship with them was dependant on their obedience. But, as believers in Christ today, we are part of a new covenant that is everlasting because of Jesus’ work on the cross. It’s not dependant on our obedience but on what Christ has done to pay for the penalty of our sin. And, He’s come to offer forgiveness, grace, freedom, and truth, not a better house or car. I’m not saying that He can’t provide those things for us. I think He can. He certainly cared for us in making provision for our car when ours was totaled. He faithfully provided a new job for S that very same day. He is so tremendously good in caring for us. But, our trust is not in that “better” thing. It’s trusting in the work of Christ and the wisdom and character of God.

I can recall a moment a few years ago when we were going through a rather rough patch of sin and hardship. I was often puzzled at the fact that God continued to use us in situations. Granted, there were areas where we saw definite consequences for sin and still do to this day, but we also continued to be graciously used by God in the lives of others. A friend said to us at that time, “Christ is greater than your sin. Do you really think that He can’t use you in the midst of it?” He came to save us because of His great love in light of our sin. We needed a Savior. And, yet even after salvation, who among us can say we are good or righteous? Apart from Christ, we are and have nothing. It is all His work. So, isn’t it also His continued work that can use our redeemed souls in light of our continued fight with sin?

As I said, sin has consequences. It can hinder our prayers and relationships. But, let us dare not say that our purpose for choosing obedience is to be materially blessed. Our purpose in desiring obedience is to honor God, to show gratitude for salvation, and to live a life worthy of our calling in Christ.

All these thoughts from a sick one... so thankful God’s Spirit is strong in our weakness!

Words Are So Fun

Well, it's been a humbling couple weeks with an ugly flu bug rearing its head in our home, but I think we're now on the mend. We pray so. I have so many budding blog ideas, but for now I'll leave you with a few simple funnies.

Our home is now filled with the glorious sounds of our little one! A is growing in her vocabulary and it's a total joy! She has the funniest sense of humor. For instance, when we sit down for meals she's used to us saying, "Ok, let's wait till we all sit down and pray before touching our food." So, now she laughs when we sit down and says, "Wa-wa-wa-WAIT, Baby!" We all laugh!

Today we were at the store purchasing some shipping supplies to mail a package and I pulled Bubble Wrap off the shelf. A said, "Bubbles-- Yeah Baby!" LOL.

She can practically repeat anything these days and it's so fun to hear her voice as she learns more about connecting thoughts and concepts into words. It's so nice to have more tangible communication as well.

The funniest thing that gets us every time is Orange Juice. We serve it just with breakfast. She gets the biggest kick out of asking for it at lunch and dinner. She says, "Orange Juish?" And then she laughs hysterically. We respond, "You silly girl, we have Orange Juice and breakfast!" And we all laugh.

It's fun and we're enjoying every minute. :-)

More to come soon!

Peace or Prosperity

I have a very heaven-minded husband. He longs to be in the presence of the Lord and would often much rather be there than here. When we first started dating and even upon engagement and marriage, I did not understand his way of thinking. In times of Scripture memorization, I often questioned the verses, “Who have I in heaven but you? And beside You I desire nothing on earth” or “To depart and be with Christ is much better, but for your sake I remain.” I fully and readily admit that I felt quite at home here, and in a sense my love for S may have felt more tangible and reciprocal than my love with Christ.

But through these last few years, my heart and hunger for Heaven have increased. My passion to share with the lost has more deeply developed. My love for the Lord has reached the heights because I know this world has nothing to offer me.

I don’t mean this in a fatalistic sort of way. I believe we should be taking advantage of opportunities, serving the Lord and each other well, enjoying the blessings He has given us here, but our HOPE, our JOY, our TRUST, our PURPOSE should not be here. It should be found in the person of Christ and in His promises.

I’ve been reading a book entitled Stepping Heavenward by E. Prentiss. It’s a journal of a woman’s journey to godliness. The main character, Kate faces many hardships in life: her father dies when she is still a child, upon marriage her husband is often away and she is left with a household of critical observers, her son dies, and she faces much illness. Here are quotes near the end of her journal:

“And I can see now, what I wonder I did not see at the time, that God was dealing very kindly and wisely with me…” (256)

“But I see more and more that happiness is not dependent on health or any other outside prosperity. We are at peace with each other and at peace with God; His dealings with us do not perplex or puzzle us, though we do not pretend to understand them” (257).

“God’s ways are infinitely perfect; we are to love Him for what He is and therefore equally as much when He afflicts as when He prospers us; there is no real happiness but in doing and suffering His will; and that this life is but a scene of probation through which we pass to the real life above” (258).

There is a great temptation in American today to believe the lie that God exists to prosper us and that is when we are truly blessed. John Piper does a wonderful job of sharing that God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him through suffering. Please watch this excellent video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEZGDFKI6LE

God is our strength in weakness. He is glorified in us when we praise Him through hardship. He is our glorified when we’re content to not compare. He is glorified when our hearts don’t long for more outside Him. He is glorified when everything around us fails and we fix our eyes on Him. May He be glorified in us today.