November 02 Archive

A few weeks ago, my mom had an appointment with the Alzheimer's specialist at University of Penn.  He updated mom’s diagnosis as being “severely impaired”. Certainly, my dad and I have noticed this for a while.  But, there is something about the title, “severely impaired” that carries a certain stereotype.  Think in your minds… we can all picture it.  Severely impaired has a completely negative connotation, offering little hope on the positive side.

And yet there is this indescribable joy that fills my heart when I am with my mom, my dear “Turtle”!  She is the sweetest thing.  God has truly blessed us these last few weeks with precious times.  On any given day, people may ask, “Jocelyn, how is your mom?”  And in their eyes I see sympathy, aching hearts, curious minds… and depending on the day, my response may differ.  But, regardless of my daily responses, deep down I am so thankful for all that we are going through in these moments.

There are days when I wish that my mom could stand in the kitchen by my side and offer encouragement when I have messed up a recipe, or give me guidance on how things should be done.  There are those lonely nights when I wish she could talk with me till I fell asleep about all that is on my mind.  But, it is in these moments that I have found my complete comfort and rest in the Lord.  He knows exactly what He is doing!  I have never before felt such peace and security in my relationship with our eternal God.   

I must tell you that my mother is one of the most positive, dear people I know.  Last night, I returned home from having Bible Study with S and my mom was in bed.  I ran up to her room and said, “Turtle, I am home…”  She looked at me and said, “Oh, Turtle, you are so beautiful!  Did you have fun with S?  You like him, don’t you?  I do too.”  And she smiled.  Every day she showers me with hugs and fills our house with laughter.  Tonight she had us roaring with laughter around the dinner table.  She is so sweet and innocent.

The other night, my mom saw my best friend in a big, warm coat.  She looked at her all bundled up and said, “Sponge… you look like a sponge!”  Perhaps not the most encouraging thing to say, but we were all laughing so hard!  My mom says the things that most people never dare to say, and there is something so blissfully refreshing about that. 

I will not lie in saying all is wonderful.  There are nights when being home is the last place on earth I’d rather be.  Nights when my mom fights us on taking a shower and she cries and stomps her feet.  Nights when we wonder how we will ever get her body clean before a good night’s rest.  But, I am blessed to have faithful and devoted fathers, both in Heaven and on earth.

So, I simply leave you with these thoughts tonight.  The thoughts of my dear mom. She blesses me now more than ever.  God knows what He is doing.